


Scared and Confused

by SamuelJames



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: Domestic Violence, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-25
Updated: 2010-10-25
Packaged: 2017-10-12 21:20:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/129202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamuelJames/pseuds/SamuelJames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ste's thoughts and feelings after being hit by Brendan. He's drawn further into Brendan's web.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scared and Confused

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Scared and Confused  
> Characters: Ste Hay and Brendan Brady  
> Rating: 15+  
> Notes: My version of what happened next after Brendan hits Ste.  
> Summary: Ste's thoughts and feelings after being hit by Brendan. He's drawn further into Brendan's web.  
> Disclaimer: Hollyoaks belongs to its creators. No copyright infringement is intended.  
> Archiving Information: Please do not archive elsewhere on the net.

Ste finally gets Cheryl to leave and then lets the tears fall. How could Brendan do that to him, pretend to kiss him and then punch him? Brendan had been nice at the hospital and Ste's head is a mess not knowing what to think. He'd actually locked the door himself expecting to be kissed again, to feel as good as it had before. Maybe Brendan wasn't comfortable with Ste making the first move, if he'd told him to lay off he would have. He doesn't even know when he's expected back to work. Brendan might get angry again if he doesn't show up but he just needs some time to figure out what went wrong.

He winces when he stands up with the intention of making a cuppa. Instead he makes his way to his bedroom and gingerly sits on the bed. He curls up a bit resting his hand on his stomach. It's sore, the hospital had given him some painkillers which Brendan pocketed. Ste isn't sure if the concern at the hospital was real or another mind game. It's all moving too fast. The first kiss when he was sure Brendan wanted it too and the rejection afterwards had left him reeling till Brendan kissed him. It had felt so good but then today happened. Ste wipes his face with the sleeve of his hoodie, can't keep crying over whatever this is. Cheryl hadn't shut up thankfully, less lies for him to have to tell. She meant well going on about the scumbags who robbed him but he wonders how she'd feel if she knew her brother did this.

Cheryl wouldn't believe him because she worships her brother, that much is obvious to Ste. He'll just have to be completely professional from now on, do his job and do his best to avoid giving Brendan any mixed messages. Ste raises his hand to his lips recalling the kiss. Fantastic but not worth this pain, he'd actually thought it was the start of a relationship. Ste sighs at his stupidity, he'd had a wank after work thinking about Brendan and that kiss. He'd imagined Brendan touching him and getting to touch back, how he'd be nervous but up for it. No chance of that now, he'd gotten it all so wrong. Maybe it was safer to stick with girls, less aggressive if he misread the signs. Had he though? Brendan looked like he wanted it, had certainly kissed like he wanted it. No, safer just to leave things be and let Brendan sort out his own sexuality.

It's not late but he's tired. Ste turns to get comfortable, hissing in pain as he's reminded why that's a bad idea. He manages to kick off his trainers and pulls his pillow down a bit. His phone beeps as he's drifting off, it can wait till later. He dreams that he's trying to shut the door and it won't close properly. In his dream it's important that he gets the door shut so the monsters can't get him. He ends up barricading the door. Ste wakes a while later from someone knocking loudly. He braces himself for the pain of standing, not as bad as he anticipated. There's a moment of panic when he opens the door and sees Brendan there.

Brendan holds up the tablets, "thought you might need these."

"Thanks."

Brendan comes in without being asked and sticks the kettle on. Ste lingers near the door.

"Sit down, Steven, I'll make us some tea."

He moves slowly towards the couch.

Brendan brings him a glass of water while the kettle boils, "for your tablets."

Ste fumbles with the lid on the bottle while Brendan stares, apparently finding this fascinating.

"Good boy," he says when Ste swallows the tablet. Ste gets even more nervous when Brendan places himself between Ste and the door. He wonders if Brendan is doing it on purpose.

"You didn't answer my text I was worried."

"Sorry, Brendan. I haven't checked my phone since I woke up."

"I might have needed you at the club."

"I am sorry. I'll bring it into my room in future."

Brendan smiles which doesn't diminish Ste's nerves at all.

Brendan's busy for a minute or so making the tea. He leans down to get the milk and then turns back to Ste, "hope you weren't looking at my arse."

"I wasn't. I didn't."

"Only joking, Steven. We'll just have to exercise some discretion."

Ste doesn't say anything, this could be another game of Brendan's. Ste takes his mug of tea from Brendan and gulps the first scalding mouthful quickly. Brendan sits beside him and Ste doesn't dare even look at him. His plan to avoid Brendan as much as possible is failing miserably.

"I lost my temper earlier, Ste, and I shouldn't have. I was married and I'm a father, I'm not into blokes. Then you somehow made me want you, made me want to kiss you."

"I'm a dad too, like I said I've never kissed any men till you."

"You're blaming me?"

"No, I just meant that it's confusing for me too."

Brendan moves fractionally closer and Ste instinctively crosses his arms in front of his stomach.

"I'm not angry now, Ste. We can do this if we're careful, no hint of anything at work and no telling anyone either. This is just between you and me. If you tell anyone I'll deny it and I'll fire you. Got that?"

Ste nods and lets Brendan move his arms, then Brendan's kissing him again. Ste closes his eyes, follows Brendan's lead. Brendan's gripping the back of his head a little roughly but that's okay. Brendan's hand slides under his t-shirt and Ste breaks the kiss with a yelp of pain when Brendan presses his fingers against his sore stomach. He continues applying pressure even when Ste is near tears.

"Just remember what we agreed, this will all end if you don't know how to stay quiet."

"Got it."

Brendan stands suddenly and grins at Ste like he's just heard the funniest joke. "Get some rest and we'll see you at work tomorrow, fighting fit."

Ste lets out a sigh of relief when the door slams shut. Brendan does want him after all and hopefully he won't hurt him again more now that Ste's agreed to keep quiet.


End file.
